@cosmicgirlie
Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 35+3 days
Month: 9
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 34 weeks
Time to Go: 32 days, though at this rate, who the hell knows?
Size: King/Queen
Time til NEXT Growth Scan: 7 days

Soooo....after all of that, it seems I've got other things to worry about. Thank you so much to all those who replied, and especially those who gave me a cyber kick up the arse. On reflection, yes I know it's hormones, and I'm stupidly tired and ha ha! Of course Noah doesn't hate me! (Not yet, anyway, give it about 14 years maybe) And this blog tends to receive the brunt of my whining (ya'll some very strong/supportive/intriguing people to carry on reading...that means a whole lot). But there are just some days, which we all have, when I just feel completely incompetent. And whilst it sucks, I think I just need to find some way to embrace that.

Unfortunately, what I really need to embrace right now is the fact that Pushing the Button is pretty much officially out the window. Today's scan (for all its inaccuracies) showed that T.O.O. is measuring, um, "ahead" a  little bit. Like, kinda measuring around the 43+3w mark.

I'll just give you a second to scroll back up and remind yourself how far along I actually am.

...

Yeah, not looking good, huh? The weight can go 15% either way of their measurements. Unfortunately, the measurements were so off the frigging chart, they couldn't actually give me a guess on the weight. Awesome.

So whilst you're thinking, "yeah well, she delivered one adult, why can't she do it again? Why's she given up so easily?"

Well there's more. Remember that whole polyhydramnios thing? And the whole "excess fluid but don't worry, it looks ok at this stage"? Yeah that's gone to shit too. The fluid has increased, which means that if I go into labour and T.O.O. isn't engaged, I risk things like a cord prolapse, or a hand or foot presenting first (which really, really does not appeal). Needless to say, a cord prolapse is life threatening for T.O.O. and I always said that if there was ANYTHING that would endanger the lives of myself or the baby, then I wouldn't do it at home. Of course, there's the potential for me to still put up some kind of fight at this point, even though it would minimal.

But no.

I officially gave up when they said that it's also breech. Just. Frigging. Awesome.

Now of course I know FULL WELL that even at 35w with a second baby, it could turn a million more times before I hit due date. Fully aware. In fact, as I type this now, I'm actually typing leaning over the table, resting on my knees and elbows (if you can picture that). And as I'm typing, I'm being pummeled in the crotch as it tries to somehow propel itself up and round.

The things we do eh?

I've had a bad feeling all along about Pushing the Button, and something said to me that the outcome just wouldn't be good at all. Which is a real shame. We went along to the scan just excited to see T.O.O. again. And I came out in tears, feeling thoroughly pissed off at the outcome. The consultant we saw was great, very clear and understanding. But there was no arguing. With all of the above, the three together, just cause too great a risk.

So where do we go from here?

We have another scan next friday to measure fluid and try to get another "guess" on the size. I also have a scan the following week after that to check position. They mentioned that if it is still breech, they would normally try to turn the baby (ECV - External Cephalic Version), giving me a better chance of having a vaginal birth (in hospital). Of course, that would be the case if the fluid levels were normal. So if the levels are high, then no turning and it's an automatic C-Section for me. At this stage, who knows? It could be anything from let's wait and see, through early induction, to planned C-Section.

Hmm.

I have nothing against people who have had C-Sections. I know some people wouldn't have it any other way. Me? Not so keen. My previous experience with hospitals has sufficiently put paid to that. So C-Sections...yeah, I think that's a different post.
6 Responses
  1. Kelly Says:

    well, what a friggin bummer huh?
    looking on the positive side...I think its good that the decision is very clear for you, rather than having to go well...um...we COULD do it at home...but...well, um. I mean, its clear. There are too many IFs to deal with at home at this point. One IF maybe...but not 3 (size, breech, fluid). I'm sorry - I know you must be really disappointed and pissed.
    I c section is not something to look forward to I know. But sometimes these things work out to our benefit even though we fight and fight and bitch and fight. And I hate hospitals immensely, so I understand. I won't even say "it'll be ok" and all that crap. It will be ok, but at this point, you're allowed to bitch. I know you know what the important thing is (baby!) but that doesn't diminish your right to whine about this situation.

    Having said all that, I know that with a little time you will incorporate all this into your thinking and make peace with it. Now you know...you have facts and you can deal with those and move on.

    Ok and so to the main point. So I'm reading the blog and can you guess at what point I stopped, jaw dropped, and said "Whaaaat the heeeelllll???"
    43 weeks?!! what the heck? is your amniotic fluid made up of donut juice? bacon? LOL
    wow. you grow some healthy babies girl!!
    so next time someone asks you if you're having twins or tries to rub your belly, just say "No its just one adult in there".

    love you. sorry I kicked you in the arse. =)


  2. Young Momma Says:

    Oh hun. I just remember all the what ifs and waiting with being pregnant! I'm sorry that it wasn't a good visit like you were hoping for. (((hugs)))


  3. Alya Says:

    Hi babe, I'm so sorry this pregnancy is not going to plan, you must be under so much pressure right now. Which ever way this one comes out, I'm sure he/she is gonna be absolutely gorgeous and all these traumas will be worth it. Stay strong missy. Sending you lots of hugs, Alya x


  4. Anonymous Says:

    In a few weeks time we will be celebrating a new person in the world, with loving, giving and caring parents. Until then, all the best in the world.


  5. Samantha Says:

    Ah, yes. I remember that conversation with my doctor all too well.... "Your baby is breech and is measuring over 9lbs during week 34... when do you want to schedule your c/s?" I had my Noah, unplanned, just over a week later, at 35w5d.... 10lbs 11oz.

    C/S suck, I won't lie. I wanted a v-birth SO bad! So... I will be praying right along with you that T.O.O. turns and the fluid is much, much less!!!!


  6. jen Says:

    Sweetie, I'm sooo sorry that things didn't go well with your scan- BUT at least you are in safe hands with lots of people looking after you and TOO, and trying to do the best for you.
    I really, REALLY hope you don't have to have a C-section. It's not the best having major abdominal surgery AND a newborn baby to deal with at the same time...
    Still, if you do have to have a planned C-section, at least you have some time to adjust and come to terms with the idea, and get some rest first and stay in control of the situation. It'd be so much worse if it's an emergency situation, where you're at home in labour and suddenly get told "you need a c-section" and have to be rushed in... Maybe I'm biased, but surely that would be worse?...
    They said all sorts of scary things to you with Noah, and things turned out ok there. They're just being cautious and trying to keep you informed of all the things that could happen, not necessarily the things that will happen. I'm sure they're just not used to big babies- it will all be fine.
    Love ya! Take care.
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