Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 33+6 days
Month: 8
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 32 weeks
Time to Go: 43 days
Size: Anywhere between an embryo and, uh, the TV.
Time til Growth Scan: 11 days

I am a truck. Well, no not really a truck, more like a small house. Only, somehow, I'm still not as big as I was at this stage with Noah. Somehow, I'm lighter and still in original sized clothes (below the bump, before one of you leaves a cocky comment heheh).

And yet, here I am, sat in the most flattering maternity nightshirt you ever did see, and by flattering, I mean really NOT flattering. To make it even more lovely, it's bright pink so I look like a giant candy floss, all mis-shapen and, sort of lumpy.

And even more lovely, is the humongous belly button that announces itself to the world like some odd kind of pointy beacon. "Hello!! Preggo belly RIGHT! HERE!! Feel free to have a poke!"

And as for the poking, I don't mind people looking at the bump. Or smiling at the bump. Or being all conversational and maybe asking how long I have left. What infuriates me is the "foot in mouth" comments, and also the assumption that my stomach, (which, by the way, is faaarrrr too close to my boobs) is open property for one and all to touch. It's very unsettling when people who I have never met and will probably (most likely) never see again, in the middle of conversation, feel the need to lunge at the bump, touch it, stroke it, rub it enthusiastically (and let's just remember how close it is to my boobs again, like really close).

Um people? You know I'm attached to this thing, right? You um, do know that's my belly you're groping there, and for the love of god stop making my boobs jiggle, it's creepy.

Family don't touch it (cos maybe that's just weird). Some friends touch it (which I can deal with, especially if they've already been pregnant). And then random people I have never EVER met are all over it. Which freaks me the fuck out. But you know, whatever. I'm thinking of practicing the same thing in return, kinda like return the favour, you know?

The comments are hilarious. You know, make me wanna slap my thigh, keel over laughing, someone hand me the needle and thread cos I'm IN STITCHES hah fucking HARDY HAR HAR you're so funny comments.

"Are you sure there's just one??!"

"You must be due any day now, right?"

"Do twins/multiples run in your family?"

"Oh my GOD you are HUGE!!"

"Move your fat ass, it's blocking the way/view/sunlight."*

I think there appears to be some law I don't know about that gives people the right to say what the hell they like to pregnant women. Thanks! That's great.

It's big, but I didn't think it was that bad. I would, however, like to point out the fact that my bright pink pants underneath appear to be FAR larger than bump. However, please do not take this as an invitation to play with those instead.

*ok no one really said that, but I'll bet someone thought it.
6 Responses
  1. A Says:

    i think you look awesome! you tell all those creepy bump touchers to back the EFF off or your buddy from the states will come kick their ass. i HATE bump-stalkers. its totally gross. can you imagine walking up to some chick that has really big boobs and saying to her (while you're feeling her up of course), "My, those are huge!" its the same concept, right? DON'T TOUCH MY STOMACH!


  2. Leta Says:

    Thank God you put that little * there at the end, because I was thinking there must be a dead person lying around somewhere after making a comment like that to a pregnant woman. I hated it when people (esp. co-workers) commented and/or belly grabbed. Weird. It happened a lot more with baby #1 than baby #2. Maybe because with baby #2 I was giving off the "I will kill you if you so much as look at me sideways" vibe?

  3. jen Says:

    Darlin, you look fab. You have a (probably larger-than-average) baby in there - you're hardly gonna be a size 10...
    Wear one of those t-shirts that says "hands off my bump"? I was sooo tempted to rub the random stranger's belly in return, but didn't quite have the nerve.
    How about hitting them with your crutches? Damn things have gotta come in useful for something, cos they don't help much with the SPD...
    Why are people so mean about size though? I mean, it's not like pregnancy is a new idea, so pregnant women getting big shouldn't really be a surprise. The lady I share my office with STILL makes comments about how huge I was whilst pregnant, and I've just watched her say similar things to another colleague. Thing is, she's got a daughter. Didn't she have a mirror during her pregnancy?
    Not been on your blog for a while (J broke our internet cable at home...) so- I will definitely bring supplies IF you end up in hospital (which you won't, cos EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE) I will also reassure you that I found my hospital treatment whilst pregnant to be pretty crap and a bit like a cattle market - but when you're in labour, and after having the baby they are AMAZING. Ask if they have an ethnic menu. At my hospital, the 'normal' one was horrible, but the ethnic menu had lovely food on it. Shame I went a bit mad on the curries - I gave little J the runs cos I ate curry for dinner and tea 3 days running! The joys of breastfeeding...
    How did the house-viewings go?
    Love, as always.

  4. Yolanda Says:

    You look fabulous- very cute belly. I think I don't give off a very friendly air so people don't tend to approach me (or touch me thank God) unless I know them. This is my first pregnancy around lots of friends and family so the belly has gotten rubbed quite often, surprisingly it hasn't bothered me but then my 4 year old is obsessed with spending time with my stomach (laying on it, talking, singing, and taking pictures which thankfully don't turn out well lol) so I think he's made me immune to others.

    Your little Noah is adorable- good for you getting a Nanny and hoping your SPD evaporates soon. This is my first pregnancy not dealing with SPD- I found a fantastic chiropractor so my pelvis and hip bones are actually staying in place.

  5. Kelly Says:

    you look adorable. you are all out front!
    bump touchers. LOL

    no,really you look great.

  6. I have to say I am LMAO at your post-your writing style is fab and the whole post probably could have come right out of my mouth with any one of my 5 pregnancies.

    Heaven help those who even came close to my bump without permission!

    Hope you have an easy rest of the pregnancy, an easy delivery and an easy time raising all your kids.