@cosmicgirlie
Due Date: 01/08/2008
Week: 8+0 days
Month: 2
Trimester: 1
Fetus Age: 6 weeks

Time to go:
Due Date: 223 days
2nd Trimester: 27 days
UltraScan: 12 days

If there's one way to get me to slow down, is to introduce things that actually physically stop me. So if it wasn't enough for me to have dizzy spells (and be signed off work for 4 weeks) then the next step is to attack the major nerves in my leg. Hello sciatica!! Man it's fun. Left leg decides it doesn't want to know if I've been lying on my back or sitting funny. It's very odd and can hurt like stink, but hey you know, it's another fun thing for the list! I wonder what's next... Dr did blood tests to find out what's going on with the dizzy thing. Should hopefully get results on Thursday.

Well here we are in the 8th week, and I'm still really excited. I'm praying that this one is ok, I really don't want to see another b/o, and I'm hoping everything is pretty much ok. I'm thankful everyday for no spotting or bad cramping, even though I know (of all people) that this can make no difference. As it's week 8, I'm hoping we can start trying to use the doppler tonight. I don't expect to hear anything, but it will be fun to start trying. Thankfully I'm pretty easy going about it, and I think any panic wouldn't set in until much later on when perhaps I had already heard the heart beat or something...I guess the 30+ week mark would have me slightly worried!

Been spending a lot of time on FF lately; I love being on there, the other girls are soooooo helpful and supportive and I'm always learning loads, as well as picking up fabulous new links to websites. This is the latest one which is just AMAZING. The pictures are so cool and they're great to keep me entertained while we literally watch baby grow. I'm being very good and not jumping ahead to later vids :oD

I also find them so helpful because you just know you're not alone with some things. I don't want to share much with Jeph...which I know is kind of sad given we're only 6ish weeks apart, but I just don't know what it is. I guess that feeling of how it may have come about makes me wonder. I mean even DH thinks she's done it on purpose. But on FF, it's so nice to be able to offer your views and get loads of support, without people constantly turning it back to themselves, or disregarding your happiness telling you how much it will suck (AP)...it's just a much nicer environment.

DH's mum has stopped calling, and I've actually started to relax a bit more in the daytimes now :oD I feel kinda bad, but I've always needed my space and need to know my escape route rather than feeling like a watched piece of prey...DH says this is exactly what he went through. I sympathise now.

Man I am HUNGRY.
Comments | Links to this post | edit post
@cosmicgirlie
Due Date: 01/10/2008
Week: 6+5 days
Month: 2
Trimester: 1
Fetus Age: 5 weeks

Time to go
Due date: 232 days
2nd Trimester: 36 days
First UltraScan: 19 days

Ahh midwife visit today, was really good and informative. Hannnah is really nice and friendly and really easy to get on with which obviously makes it all easier. We went through all my green notes, talked about how Dr Collins is an absolute ******* (choose your own word), future options, tests, the hospital...I was amazed at how much we covered!

DH seemed happy too, sat through as much as he could before having to dash off to work, and asked a few questions of his own. I liked that.

Not felt quite so bad today, little bit queazy, minor headache rather than the usual and dizzy spells less frequent. Had a bit of achy cramping though, but as it could be anything, I'm putting it down to another symptom.

I think I'm gonna go and be anal and study my green notes :o)
Comments | Links to this post | edit post
@cosmicgirlie
I can't believe it. Jeph is 13 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her....but I'm also bitter. And I cried. Ironic that everyone else is concerned about how I'm feeling...that means a lot to me.

Sad though that everyone thinks she did it on purpose...
Comments | Links to this post | edit post
@cosmicgirlie
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Due Date: 01/10/2008
Week: 6+3 days
Month: 2
Trimester: 1
Fetus Age: 4 weeks

I bought maternity clothes yesterday! From a shop in the MAILBOX no less! (http://www.mailboxlife.com) I bought 6 items and they came to £500 LMAO. DH's treat. He's a star sometimes :) So I bought a pair of jeans, some khaki green linen trousers and a pair of black concert trousers, all with a panel in the front. Also bought 3 t-shirts (white, green and a lime and white striped) as well as a light checked parka. They are sooooo cool and amazingly comfy. Not sure as to when I can start wearing them yet though, I know I can't do sundays cos that's gonna mean belly hanging out for all it's worth, and it's more than likely that bloodhound Jeph would guess pg withouth batting an eyelid...

Still really looking forward to Midwife on Tuesday, even though I know she'll barely do anything...still I guess it's nice to be seeing an 'official' member of a pregnancy team, it's that suggestion of the ball actually moving, rather than just sitting there starin at me, trying to look all interesting. I know what I mean.

Still feels like an eternity til the U/S though, but I still can't wait. Still been feeling utterly dire, and thinking more and more about work. I guess I've taken to enjoying having a life again, and I much prefer having my own students. I'm wondering if I can stick it out until the summer but I'm not even sure about that..I want to because at least then I could get paid over the summer, and most students won't be having lessons because of exams and things. But the words of Chris and Helen keep ringing in my ears...

I thought if I could perhaps last til the summer, then go on maternity leave in Sept, and spend the earlier part of maternity leave establishing my students. At least that gives me a bit of time. I don't want to take any more time off, especially if it's going to affect future work, but at the end of the day if I can't drive, I can't drive.

Ooooooo I forgot to mention, DH bought a doppler over the weekend! Obviously it's too early to use it yet, but it's arrived anyway and we can't wait to try it out. It says, according to the 3mhz probe, that we should be able to hear the heartbeat by around 8 weeks (2 weeks to go!!) so that should be fun trying to find! Lots of women on FF have said that they didn't want the extra stress if they couldn't find the hb, which I can understand, but I guess you just have to be as realistic as possible and understand that you may not always be able to find it becauseo of how the baby might be lying. And again, as I've said so many times before, if something goes wrong chances are there's nothing you can do about it. ALSO, it'll get to a point where I won't need to hear hb because it'll probably be kicking the crap out of me... :o)

I think I'll wear my baggy jeans and a loose vest today...I don't know what else fits....!
Comments | Links to this post | edit post
@cosmicgirlie
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
ACK I posted a long blog and blogger's server then went down - lost the entire blog lol

Anyway, where are we today:
Due Date: 01/10/2008
Week: 5+6 days
Month: 2
Trimester: 1
Fetus Age: 4 weeks

http://www.doula.org.uk/ Here is a website I must consider reading sometime.

Today was damn scary; DH and I went to see Chris about work and what my options were. This dizzy thing is really annoying and even part time is a problem. The basic conclusion seemed to be either keep going, power on through and see how I feel despite jeapardising my job and attendance figures, or get out, look after myself and the baby consider taking a break from DPA. I hate that idea but even as I type it, it seems like the right thing to do. Even talking to Helen after Chris she said (as a mate in a pub) to get out while I can and make the most of the Golden Opportunity. She had a point. But I hate my instinct that says I have to worry about everyone else; I hate the idea that the kids are going without lessons and that they'll have yet another teacher. Mind you, even this year hasn't been the best for them.
Still, I know there are far better teachers than me out there, who could really get some of those kids moving. Ian always raves about Claire so there's lots that she could do with them even though she's only part time...but I think back to all the stress I've endured with Ian and the lack of support from the team...Helen suggested coming back in time through Music Tots which is a FAB idea...but I can't believe the idea of quitting my job at 28 years old, and not even having been there 2 years. DH hit the nail on the head when he reminded me that probably the big reason why I don't want to go is because I've had to work so hard to get to where I am. I think I'm going to have to make a decision by half term in a few weeks.

There are so many pros and cons to this, it's SO frustrating.

On a happier note, my books arrived today - Your Pregnancy Week by Week and also Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. They both look GREAT, and far better than that What to Expect When You're Expecting, which I've come to the conlusion is quite crap (and very dull). The two new books seem really informative and they were recommendations from the girls on Fertility Friend. YPWBW looks great, it seems so informed and the pictures are actually really cool. I haven't flicked through much of the Mayo Clinic one yet.

Today I'm so tired. DH dropped me off after the meeting and I lay down on the sofa to read and watch (yet more) birthing/baby progs - and I slept for about 3 hours!!! I found it quite ironic given how much I seem to struggle to sleep sometimes (this pregnancy thing is beyond belief lol)

I had some cause for celebration though, I finally graduated to my DD maternity bras today lol. I had forgotten how comfy they are! Bit concerned though that this bloating means i gotta wear them on the biggest clasp. I can't remember what the woman in M&S said about what clasp they should be on, but having said that, she was trying me out in C cups (er yes hi???! I'm normally a D cup anyway!!)

And yesterday I discovered that my size 14 trousers are FAAARRRRR more comfy than my 10s and 12s. The bloating is making me laugh and I'm due for my 6 week picture tomorrow morning - I think the diff could be quite entertaining! My tummy was still pretty much flat at 4 weeks, and at 5 weeks...well let's just say that some of the 3-4 month mums could have a run for their money :oD

I can't wait to see li'l Mocha Bean on 11th June. Still hoping and praying everything is ok. I told DH that when we go, if it's another blighted ovum then I don't want to see the screen. I'll never forget that previous image, it's like it's engraved on my brain. Strangely enough, if it does go wrong again this time, obviously I'm not sure how I'll be, but I think I might not be so bad because I've tried to enjoy this pregnancy, and I'll hope and perhaps know in my heart that I did everything right for Mocha Bean.
ps Mocha is almost the size of an apple pip. ^_^
Comments | Links to this post | edit post
@cosmicgirlie
DH is home and said he doesn’t want to be seen online, so that rules out any online blogging. So I guess it’s just you and me, lil bean.
Comments | Links to this post | edit post
@cosmicgirlie
Mon, May 14, 2007

Due Date: 01/10/2008
Week: 5+4 days
Month: 2
Trimester: 1
Foetus Age: 4 weeks
preg.fertilityfriend.com

So here I am, 5w4d pg and despite feeling utterly dire, I'm actually starting to enjoy it. There's loads to catch up on since this is first proper blog, but here goes.
Had BFP on 27th April at only 10dpo, so book appt with doc. Ended up seeing Some guy called Dr Collins who turned out to be the biggest idiot ever for all number of reasons, telling me I wasn't healthy before he even checked me, saying I couldn't possibly have BFP cos it was too soon, and then tried to tell me I should be taking 5000mcg of folic acid. Er yes hi!! Went back a few days later and saw Dr McDonald - same Dr I saw with 1st pg and she was LOVELY, we basically did the appointment as it should have been...
Unfortunately, it's left me with some unpleasant side effects - I'm having horrendous dizzy spells which make me terrified to drive around all day, and the constipation is now diarrhoea. Bit concerned with how this is affecting work; I did a self cert last week and now I'm back to the docs today to get a sick note. I don't want to take that kind of risk! I'd rather be sat in the office all day than be out on the road (and that's saying something....)
Ok gotta go to docs now - will update more when I get back
Ok so I've gotten a doctors note for a week to see if the dizziness thing eases up and also gives me time to discuss things with Chris. I would prefer part time; less stress, less time on the road, more 'me' time to do the things I need/want to do...I guess the truth is I love my job but all the crap that goes with it is just too much at the moment.
More good news though - had Initial Booking Visit appointment from the midwives today, it's scheduled for 22/05/07, 11.30 at home, and Dave can be here too! They probably won't do much, just a bit of a physical exam, history check and discuss my 'needs' I would expect, but stil, it's nice to feel like things are 'moving'.
Also got 1st date for U/S: 11th June at 9.00 which feels like an eternity away to see lil Mocha, but at least it'll be worthwhile stuff to see rather than it being too early and stuff. I have a ticker on fertility friend counting down the days; I thought it would drive me nuts but amazingly it's helping.
I'm feeling a desperate urge to enjoy this pg as much as possible; DH and I went to the Baby Show at the NEC on Saturday and it was AWESOME We bought a nappy bin thingy (kinda like a Diaper Genie I guess?) and it's so cool, it's our first 'baby' purchase. Dave bought me a bump band which I can use to cover my unbuttoned trousers and it just looks like I have a long black t-shirt on under my clothes; can't wait to try it out, especially with all this bloating going on - I'm HUGE!!

And before I forget, baby has been nicknamed Mocha cos of the colour she may be when she's born. DH asked last night in bed whether she should be Mocha Latte or Mocha Noir
Comments | Links to this post | edit post
@cosmicgirlie
Sun, May 13, 2007 8:23 PM

Here are our stats today!

Due Date: 01/10/2008
Week: 5+3 days
Month: 2
Trimester: 1
Foetus Age: 4 weeks

Date for an U/S!! It's on 11th June which obviously feels like an eternity away (29 days...) but we can't get any sooner. And it's gotta be better then than even later...we tried looking into other places to go but then I started to wonder whether I would still stress anyway. I need to enjoy this pregnancy as much as I possibly can - I know it will make things easier. Today I'm really feeling the effects - I've been feeling queasy all day and my head is pounding. Dizzy spells are still there so I'm wary about driving still but I'm really hoping to be back out there again soon. Daddy and I went to the baby Show at the NEC yesterday - it was awesome! We bought a nappy bin thingy (kinda like an American Diaper Genie perhaps?) and that's our first 'baby' purchase. Daddy also bought me BumpBand - it's to cover the tops of my trousers when I blatantly can't fasten them! And it just looks like an unsuspecting black t-shirt - very useful over my exremely bloated belly (what on earth are you doing in there? Blowing bubbles???!) I think I'll spend bits of this week doing a little bit more on the nursery; but we're waiting for Aunty Claire to move into her flat so she can have the furniture. At least then we can shift the carpet/wall paper and get down to some serious decorating :o)

PS at the moment your nickname is 'Mocha' ;o)
Comments | Links to this post | edit post
@cosmicgirlie
Tue, May 8, 2007

So it's still early days but the symptoms feel like they're coming thick and fast...today I feel so dizzy all the time and I'm constantly bloated to name but two! Still no date for U/S yet, already starting to get impatient. I just need to see something now! Still, little bean is making presence known in other ways which is reassuring at the moment. Not sure how much longer it will suffice though...