Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 30+6 days
Month: 8
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 29 weeks
Time to Go: 63 days
Size: Longer than my phone
Time til Growth Scan: 31 days

Continuing from where we left off, I finally made it home on Saturday night after some 28 hours of hell. I. Do. NOT. Like. Hospitals. When will people understand this? I'm hoping real soon, before things get really unpleasant, you know?

Needless to say I didn't sleep thursday night; I had a chorus of snores all around me, and a woman opposite me was in active labour for most of the night. Lovely! At one point I went across to offer some help (I haven't got a clue what I was going to do, but at least it would put my conscience to rest a little...). She wasn't calling for the midwives, and was pacing up and down making a LOT of noise. I'm not sure why she didn't ask for any help...but you know, each to their own.

She declined all help (again, I still didn't know what the hell I could do) and finally the midwives took her to delivery after about 1am. That was er, slightly uncomfortable to listen to.

But hey! That's ok, because that meant I could go back to listening to the women on either side of me happily snoring away. Even better when the morning came and they both claimed they hadn't got ANY sleep at all (YOU LIIIEEEE!!!!).

Most importantly that morning, I still wasn't spotting. I had clearly stopped, and was no longer worried, and had been told previously that if all was clear, I could go home at around lunchtime!


What a stupid naieve whore am I!!

I should have seen that things were taking a downward spiral when the first time anyone of the medical profession (Hah!! "Profession"... that's funny...) approached me was not until lunchtime. Not good. And that was lunchtime when they decided to serve me this.

Can you guess what it is? Granted, it had to sit there for 5 minutes while they tried to take blood AGAIN and failed AGAIN, so you know, it might, just might look a little unappetising.

Allow me to indulge you a better picture.

That, good people, is NHS food, and this particular tasty platter is mashed potato (left), peas (top) and cod in parsley sauce (right). I tell you where they are in case that was a little difficult to work out. I pride myself in being able to eat the mash and some of the peas, along with two mouthfuls of fish, and surviving. I would possibly have eaten more fish, but I got scared that my teeth would just crack and break trying to break down the fish.

Don't you just love that yellow tinge to the mash which tells you it's been sitting around for a while?

Mmmmmm!!!!! Yummy!!

The blood thing was infuriating me now. I was getting serously pissed with the same conversation over and over.

MW#n: Ok let's have another go! Which arm is best?

Me: The one that isn't full of holes.

MW#x: Hah hah! That's really funny! So they've tried before have they? Oh poor you! Right! Let's see what we can get!

Me: ...

MW#a: Well you know if you weren't so scared of giving blood it might be a bit -



MW#b: Oh! Er...ok, um, that's not working, I'll go get someone else to have a go...

*scurries away*

I picked at the crap on my plate and washed it down with this.

Seriously, everything is soooooooo appetising.

These people clearly didn't take the hint, because every time they asked me if I was ok and had there been any more spotting/bleeding, they would then hook me up to a monitor (seriously? You're gonna strap me down to a bed? Again?? That's gotta be for your safety, not mine, right?) trying to get T.O.O.'s heart rate which was near impossible. It doesn't ever keep still. It's been moving the whole time I've been typing. I freak out if it stops moving for more than 5 minutes because that just NEVER happens. So she got 20 minutes trace. Announced it must, must be half an hour and proceeded to mash my belly with the doppler for 15 minutes. I got nervous when her hand started trembling because she was mashing so hard trying to keep up with the baby. Then announced that actually, 20 minutes would be enough.

What's the matter? Giving up, huh? Can't cope with the fun and games?

2 hours later, GUESS WHAT??!

MW Cocky-Biatch: Right! Time to take some bloods!

Me: No.

MW C-B: Ok! Which arm is best?

Me: Someone else's.

MW C-B: Ahw! ..Oh! I see a few people have already had a go...what's wrong with your veins?

Me: *snarling* Nothing.

*putting on the band and slapping my arm *
MW C-B: Oh yes! Look at that, there's a lovely vein right there in your wrist. Sharp scratch!

Me: OW!! (She's sticking the needle in less than an inch from where someone else had already tried that day)

MW C-B: Hmmm...ok hold still, it's coming, but it's really slow so I'm just gonna jiggle it around a bit.


MW C-B: Blimey if you think this hurts, wait til you go into labour!

Me (gripping D's hand in a vice-like grip): This is my SECOND child, I've already delivered an ELEVEN POUND* baby WITHOUT DRUGS and I would sooner do THAT AGAIN than have you jiggle a needle in my damn arm!! Labour was PISS EASY compared to this crap!

MW C-B: ...ohhhh...umm...ok it's coming I'm just going to fill up one bottle then leave you alone; we're supposed to get two -

Me: *a look that would melt daggers*

MW C-B: - but let's just get the one and leave it at that! Ahw you poor thing you must be so tired!! I'll leave you alone now, get some rest.

As I sit here now, I wonder to myself how I didn't eat her head straight off her shoulders right there.

They finally discharged me at 6pm, after saying since there hadn't been any spotting for 24hours I could go. This was at the same time as the woman in the cubicle next to me, 25 wks pregnant, and spotting for three days. She'd been bleeding that morning (she announced loudly on her phone on the ward) and yet she was till being allowed home. Uhm, wtf?

Thankfully the weekend was great, even though I still didn't make it down to Devon (I've given up on that one, I suspect I may have rammed people off the road if I was allowed on the motorway in that state). The swelling on my left arm (from the "wrist jiggling" stabbing) is almost completely gone.

Noah has been fantastic. We picked him up from his grandparents on Friday night and for the first time ever he gave me a huge hug and went to kiss me. I think I actually melted and crumbled, Christ I was so happy. He's advancing rapidly in his swimming lessons (trying to splash into the pool on his own now, and completely unphased underwater!).

This morning was interesting, when I got out of bed at 7:55am and he came to greet me at the bedroom door, burpee in one hand, soother in the other, and one in his mouth. Yes, at 7:45 there was a thump but no crying at all, and then more clicking of his soother against his cot. I assumed he'd just fallen over and was just entertaining himself again. Nope.

He'd climbed out of his cot. And hit the floor. With no damage what-so-ever. Then for 10 minutes, not done anything but wait til he heard me get up. It's safe to say I very nearly shat myself when I heard his door open and saw him walk down the hallway, happy as Larry. Not a single scratch or bruise.

Yesterday my Legend-For-A-Husband booked me in last minute for another Mama Mio Spa Treatment at the Elms Hotel - Full body massage, facial moisture boost, swim in the pool and full lunch with unlimited drinks. All to myself, no interruptions. *bliss*

This morning, thanks the to the super lovely @MissLoki, a package from Hotel Chocolat arrived and contained some of the nest stuff EVAH.

Obviously I opened it straight away. Cos you know, chocolate.

And ooooooohhhhhhh YUM.

Many thanks to Twitter friends (MissLoki, marvlove, CrazyOnYou, youngmomma , cassiebarber, Ollie_Miles, Ikkulmoonchild , smartassredhead , A3love , JenniferTheJerk , chrispassey , ImFusspot and anyone else I missed!), FaceBook friends and anyone else online for helping me stay sane this weekend...

* I know it's meant to be A Thousand and One Nights, but a) I don't have that many nights and b) I couldn't think of anything else.
5 Responses
  1. Cass Says:

    Eww, ewww, ewwwww!!!! What was with that crap on your plate! Its not wonder you dont like hospitals - Im soooo sorry for you, and soooo glad youre out!!!
    Also think I too now hate hospitals, theres no way on earth I could eat that stuff, and as for the sharing a ward.... EWWWWWW!!!!!
    Lets hope you stay away from now on (and me too while we're at it, lol!)
    HUGGGSSSS xxxxx

    ps, also tres jealous of your chocolate goodies! Enjoy :D :D

  2. Kelly Says:

    yeah the food...what the hell was up with the crusty mashed potatoes?! ewww.
    cod in the hospital. that is SO British!!
    secondly, I almost fucking passed out reading about your arm sticking and the needle jiggling. I am a pretty good patient but that would have sent me over the edge. holy shit!!
    I'm glad you're home. I seriously have to get that out of my head now because your story made me so friggin queasy!! LOL

  3. Kelly Says:

    oh yeah, and your husband totally gets man of the year award for the spa treatment. sweeeeeeeet!!! that sounds SO fabulous!!!!!

  4. My Mother had a heart attack (among other things) and was in hospital recently. One of the lovely meals that I ate during that time was chicken that looked like fish w/paprika sauce on top. It was not paprika from my understanding. The young man asked if we wanted gravy and I declined because I did not know what the spice was....still do not. The cafeteria worker felt sorry for me (and I think anyone who had to eat that day). That was just one of the meals that was scarey.

    I am glad that you are home...and that Marvlove said you were a good person to "follow" on Twitter.

    I hope there is no more spotting/unexpected hospital stays.


  5. Thanks so much guys. I didn't think anyone would believe my description of the food - only a picture would do it real justice.

    And can you believe the swelling in my arm didn't completely back to normal until a WEEK later?? *sheesh*