Today, it all kicked off in the Blogosphere. Apparently, to have a good blog, we're supposed to write what we like, but make sure it complies with what people like; we're meant to be ourselves, but aspire to be someone else; we should be interesting, but real; we should include lots of links to others, but write about ourselves.

And if you want to be a "Top Blogger", you have to do all of the above and much, MUCH more.

Which is why, this post will be utterly shit, because I? Will not conform to any Rules of Blogging. Which makes me a good blogger. Nyer.

What I WILL do, is blog the following.

Today, my arse appeared in #assmail on Boob Emancipation. Given that I have now discovered I can take a pic of my own arse in the shower, I am proud as FUCK.

I have a fixation for boobs. I am not lesbian. But I DO think boobs should be celebrated. As should many asses.

Today, Noah barfed up his breakfast at the table, then started listening to said table. Like, head down, ear pressed, smiling at the table. And dancing slightly.

Whilst Noah was doing the above, Isaac was laughing hysterically at his thumb, whilst eating his breakfast.

Shortly after, Noah ralphed all down his front and on the floor. Whilst cleaning this up, Isaac crawled over and puked on my feet. Whilst cleaning all this up, he went to go bang his head on the corner of the table.

I often do not care what people think. About my blog, or me, or whatever. Sometimes I'm sorry, but often I'm not. And that's how my shit rolls.

I love comments. Good and bad. However I do not live or blog for comments. But I ALWAYS appreciate comments. I will not fall apart if there are no comments. But I might consider kicking some ass. I might not always RESPOND to comments, because of course, I am shit, but still. Always nice to have them, even if they make you look like a fucktard. Because I can look back and say "Oh, hi Fucktard!" Or I can look back and say "Cock. You're all being nice and I dunno what to say. Um, thanks."

I love smut. Throw in a cock, and I'm happy.

I managed to make someone feel quite shit today. It wasn't intentional by any means, but frustration (and fear?) got the better of me. And so, as you all know what I'm like, I started to tell it like it is. I don't think he hates me (much), but you may now call me one of the biggest bitches out there. And I suspect he may avoid me for a little while. Unfortunately, I do not know how to be straightforward without being an absolute prunt*. But I suspect I won't change. At least I didn't go all the way and let it all out. Yeah, cos that makes it better.

I regularly like to exclaim "cock" on twitter. It makes me feel better, and smile. It makes me feel even better when people say/shout "cock" at me. That makes my day.

In keeping with February YOR, today I managed to complete Day 6 of the 30 Day Shred. I can get to circuit 3 without screaming, I no longer crawl up the stairs, a pair of my trousers are a teeny bit loose, my boobs are shrinking but so is my belly, and hotness will soon be mine.

January YOR is well under way, and holy fuck, it might even be live by the end of this month. The number of photographers on twitter is making me SHIT myself. Which reminds me, one of my fave photographers who is also a good friend, was featured in Photo Pro Magazine this month. And by featured, I mean OMFG 5 PAGE SPREAD WTF AWESOMENESS. Added bonus? Well. You had all better recognise that baby and squooshy mouth, or I shall hunt you down and yell at you a lot.

That is all.

And now? Please to look at pictures, in the hope of making distracting you from my crap blog with AHWW!!!! LOOK AT TEH CUUUUUUTE!

Yes I know. You totally forgot what you were going to say, right?

Allow me to distract you some more.


This is how we roll.

* Thanks to Karl Erikson for use of the word "prunt". Tis awesome.
30 Responses
  1. Heather Says:

    ha ha, there was an awful lot of it around yesterday wasn't there.

    Bollocks, to hell with it all, do what you are comfortable with. I like your posts.

    and those pictures are gorgeous!

  2. THANK YOU Heather! Bollocks, to hell with it and COCK while we're at it.

  3. danosirra Says:

    Not as good as twunt

  4. Awwww cute!!! (see, totally worked)

    Love you. Don't change a thing. And love that you kitchen looks like a baby crack house.

    It is going to take me some time to recover from that unbelievable photo of your behind. My goodness woman, you could crack walnuts with that bit of kit. Absolutely stunning.

    I'm for a lie down now...

  5. @danosirra admittedly...twunt is pretty damn good.

    @Josie Thank you. I believe an awful lot of clenching is good for the ass. And soul.

  6. Kat Says:

    I love you Jay and I just laughed til my belly hug and then awwww'd til I sounded like a cat in heat.

    Viva La Revolution!!

  7. @Kat I don't think I've ever managed to make someone sound like a cat on heat! My job is OBVIOUSLY done.

  8. Mary Says:

    It's a pity there aren't more people who just tell it like it is, Jay, so hooray for you. And, just to make you happy, "Cock!!!"

  9. Peter Says:

    I want to see a video of the smalls with voices done by you.

    - Skittle Lover

  10. Love you. And I cannot crack walnuts with my ass. Don't judge me x

  11. @Mary THANK YOU!! Cock makes me happy. Uh, just sayin'.

    @Peter LMFAO I may have to do that soon. That just made me really fucking laugh.

  12. @Tara I tell you what, because I love you too, I'll crack your walnuts for you. xx

  13. Emma Says:

    I <3 This Post!
    You make me giggle so much both on twitter and via your blog!! :)
    The Boys are Cute - With a major capital C!!
    Would love to see you do a Vlog!! :D xx

  14. Those children are just gorgeous! Fabulous photos.

    Totally agree with you (as you might have guessed from my bugger off/stop the blogging madness tweets) yesterday. I have NO TRUCK with anyone telling anyone else how to write blog posts. And I love that word, fucktard. How have I never heard this before?! It's my word of the day.

  15. Know what you mean. I don't do any of the conventional things that other bloggers do either. To be honest I don't really even know why I blog, I just seem to gravitate towards it and the magic happens. It's great that you don't let that pressure dictate how you blog though, and why should you? It's your domain and space to give your feelings flight in your own way.

    Oh and awwww, the boys are so gorgeous. Definite heartbreakers there!


  16. @Emma Thank youuuu!! Heheh I suspect a rather questionable vlog (or several) may appear very soon... xx

    @Liz Fucktard. AWESOME word (and yeah, how the cock have you not heard it before?) Make sure you add twunt and prunt to the list too.

    @Verity Too damn right. I blog because, uh, I think I just need somewhere to put my shit! Online is easiest. And if people read it? COOLIO. If not? Well I don't care, I'll never know, will I? ;o) Thank youuuuu!!

  17. Hammy Havoc Says:

    Hammy has a pretty good ass.
    I should celebrate it.
    As always, fantastic blogging!

  18. peabee72 Says:

    Very nicely done lady....a wake up call when it was most needed ;)

    Like many others, I am completely in awe of your ass and am now clenching like mad...will report back in 6 weeks or so but I fear it's already too late for this low flyer..


  19. Well said & nice arse, kids are cute too. xx

  20. @Hammy LMAO I love you, you crack me up babe :D

    @peabee72 If you need help with that clenching, you er, just give me a shout. x

    @VBiC Thank you! I'm quite pleased with my arse at the mo. My kids aren't bad either. Heh xx

  21. You make me wee. That's the highest compliment I can give. And your arse is amazing. I'm beyond jealous!

  22. Becky Says:

    Loved the photo of your ass! Wish mine looked that good ;-)

  23. @ Nsaym I'm AWED to have made you wee. AWED. And don't be jealous! Just clench a bit. x

    @Becky Thanks!! See above - aaaaaannnd CLENCH. ;o) x

  24. Anonymous Says:

    Yeah, I've been thinking about your questions on blogging fron yesterday. I think I write what I want, but I do try to tailor it a bit in order to attract readers. I'd hate the thought of writing a lot of stuff that no-one wants to read. So I do look at stats: especially comments. I agree with you there: comments are a blog's lifeblood!

    I like your "post & be damned!" attitude.

    And your pictures of cuteness & food porn didn't distract me so naaah! :)

  25. @ whiskeyforaftershave Not even a TINY bit distracted??? DAMN. I really AM shit. LOL!!!

  26. Bluepaintred Says:

    *Ahem* COCK

    That is all

  27. MuddynoSugar Says:

    Cockity cock cock..!

  28. Karl Says:

    Yay for use of the word "prunt!" I want to see it in the Oxford Dictionary one day, so spread the word. :)

    And way to go, babe.

    PS: Adorable kids.

  29. notSupermum Says:

    "Throw in a cock and I'm happy." Amen to that.

    Totally in awe of a) this post, and b) your fab arse.