Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 30+2 days
Month: 8
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 28 weeks
Time to Go: Dunno. Someone go check for me. I'm too scared to look.
Size: About this long.

Guess where I am. Bet you can't guess.

Here's a clue, it's my favourite place EVAH. *sarcasm*

Another clue? Ok, I so want to have all my babies in THIS PLACE.

One more clue? Hmmm..ok my arms are bleeding from being stabbed with needles of varying sizes.

Give up?

...


I'm in hospital. And I'm not even in the luxury of a delivery suite. Nooooooo no! I'm on the labour ward, because last night I had major Braxton Hicks for an hour, and then spotting this morning. What's really bizarre is that I wasn't freaking out, and called the midwives this morning just to let them know what was going on. There was no answer so left a message.

Then I got sick of being housebound (I haven't driven for a week) and decided to go to the shops with Noah for a little bit. Thick ice everywhere, car wouldn't start, battery dead. Which meant I had to call the AA. And you all KNOW how I feel about the Minions of the AA.

*phone rings*

Man: Hello, Miss L? Yeah I'm from the AA, trying to find your house but I don't know where you are and I don't know where I'm going. What's your postcode again?

Me: Uh...what the fuck?

So that was a GREAT start to this morning. I was due to go to physio at 3pm, and by lunchtime, even though there hadn't been anymore spotting, I hadn't heard back from the midwives. So being sensible (cos sometimes I am, ya know), I called Labour & Delivery at about 2pm, when D came home to look after Noah.

L&D: Yeah...nah forget physio, you'd better come in.

Me: *debating protesting* Uh ok...will I still get physio?

L&D: Nah, sort out childcare and come straight to L&D.

Me: Oh goodies.

And so the day continued. They hooked me up to a monitor (grievance #1), gave me an internal (grievance #2) and then tried to get a line in (grievance #3). Notice I say "tried". Yes, I have a nice selection of holes in my arms and hands where they tried to get a line in. No joy. So they tried to take bloods instead. STILL no joy. I have 3 holes in my arms and one in each hand. And they're coming back for more.

Hooray!!!

So it's now 10pm, D has gone home to look after Noah (both of whom I miss like crazy), I'm sat in the labour suite with plasters and bandages all over my arms (their choice, not mine), wondering what the night is going to be like.

Admittedly I'm not so worried at this stage, I'm more concerned about getting some rest (since we all also know about my love of hospitals). They don't *really* know what caused the spotting, and there hasn't been any more since lunchtime. But they want to keep me in for observation.

And now some woman has just walked up to me and said "menu gone?" and then unplugged my laptop. I may not be happy by the morning.

Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 29+3 days
Month: 7
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 27 weeks
Time to Go: 73 days
Size: Long. Simultaneous punches to the bladder and kicks to the ribs long!

I'm starting to feel kinda bad that my blog has turned into a bit of a whinge lately; so today, courtesy of my still awesome new camera (squeeeeeeee!), this mornings post is a heavy duty photo essay, on the finer points of things that are cute, cool, lovely, silly, funny and more, with some narration.

Enjoy...



Damn paci glued to his mouth and he still got cute smiles dammit.


Ahw!!


Man, that singe tear thing.





The first time we EVER got him to swim on
his back without screaming murder and kicking
the crap out of me.


"Mom!! MOOOOMMMM!!! HAAALLP!!"


"Now let's see, next is downward facing dog...
or was that upside down tv?"


Cuddles or wrestling, we're not quite sure.


"See momma? I can be gentle."


"I can also be crazy." (How BIG are those eyes??)


"Archie I just KNOW you wants a hug, yes?"


First time in the snow


"Woah!! This stuff is, er, cold."


"How ya like me now?" (he sucks
the "juice" out of baby wipes. I did
NOT teach him this.)


Wha...what? Another hug for me? Damn son,
you getting soft in your old age?


Frantic horse riding. Faster you rock him, the
more hysterical he laughs.


Bath times!! We loves.


"Aaaaa!!"


"Here dolphin, you need a shower."


"No mama, you must be mistaken.
This here is MY mobile phone."


He won't wear gloves on his hands.
But he'll wear socks. Hey, whatever
works, right?


He spent 10 minutes "talking" to
the snow on his swing.


Out in the Arctic, the intrepid explorer ventured
away from the security of his shelter into
unchartered territory...


...looking for only minimal help
and confirmation to go forth...


...and then fell over.


"I am sooooooo gonna be a skater,
check out these moves!"


"Hey daddad...what is this stuff anyways??"





Raspberry blowing competition. Noah won (by
a margin) for the extra fluids.


The fantastically cool men in my life.

Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 29+2 days
Month: 7
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 27 weeks
Time to Go: 74 days
Size: TBC, but my guess is, roughly baby-sized

Alright, alright, so we have success with second time around. I found some very useful tips.

1) Ask for it to be as COLD AS POSSIBLE. Warm phlegm = HELL to the NO.

2) DO NOT chug. Even when the nurses/phlebotomists are sitting there going "Chug! Chug! Chug!". I implore you. DO NOT CHUG.

3) You are advised to SIP in VERY SMALL mouthfuls. This way you will not feel obliged to begin retching and then to spit out (or swallow it back down, if you're feeling that determined) when you have a mouth full of (Lucozade flavoured) phlegm.

4) Pray and hope for the best.

It took me 20 minutes to down the cupful (which I'm SURE was more full than the other day...measured amount my ass...) but it went down, and stayed there.

What they DIDN'T tell me was that I would then have to sit STILL for 2 hours, and couldn't go to my physio appointment, booked from last week. They looked at me like I'd lost the plot when I announced I'd be back soon.

I nearly did lose the plot and felt like clocking them with my crutches (yes, yes, the crutches are back...), and now won't get an appointment for a week or so. I am therefore resorting to walking around, actually hoiking my bump off my pelveis with my hands. It's fun to watch, even more fun to do, and I'm sure just down right hilarious to every one else.

They said they would call me if there were any problems, i.e. the test coming back positive, or if there were any other major concerns. It's now been 24 hours and I haven't heard from them, so you know, hopes up and everyting, it's all good.

I had fun sitting there for nearly three hours (because they forgot to tell me that they don't call you back, you have to go back to the room) and loved the vindictive nurse who jabbed me so hard with the 2nd needle, my arm was stinging for 4 hours afterwards. But it's ok, I have a sense of humour!! See??? HAHHH!AAAHHAAAA!!!!

I haven't pooped in nearly 4 days. *tsk*

Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 29+0 days
Month: 7
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 27 weeks
Time to Go: 76 days
Size: Average, with built in swimming pool

You see, GTT is actually a form of torture. GTT actually does not stand for Glucose Tolerance Test.

It stands for:

Get The pregnant lady to spew up anything we give her and make her retch for a good half hour after the Torture.

So no, we weren't successful this morning. I got about three quarters of the way through the drink, retching all the way, and finally threw some back up. Lovely. Which meant the test was immediately over. AFTER they had already jabbed me with the needle and taken blood and the rest.

If you've never had a GTT, you're required to fast for 14 hours beforehand (which is just as well I failed because I may have eaten 11½ hours earlier...). So pregnant lady, empty stomach. Let's just remember that.

They then take your blood, which I have no problem with. Needles do not phase me. What DID phase me, was the cup of warm, tropical flavoured Lucozade, which had the consistency of phlegm. THAT did not go down so well. I took a sip at first and immediately felt my stomach churn. I knew this would not go well.

So I took a humongous swig in the hope that I could just get it down faster. I started heaving and brought a tiny bit back up. Which, stupidly, I swallowed again straight away. Psyched up for the home stretch I took another large swig and DING DING DING!! JACKPOT!! Up it came.

Test over. So I go back in the morning to do it again! I can't wait.

However, the good news that came out of this morning was that the (LOVELY AWESOME FAB) midwives at the hospital don't think there's cause for concern with the whole polyhydramnios thing; they reckon my levels are in the normal range. They're speaking to the consultants to see if I need referral, but it's unlikely. And they're still convinced I'll get my home birth. BUT I do need to do the GTT again because of the potential link between the two.

I'm trying to understand most of this, and follow the lingo and jargon, and surprisingly, I'm still not worried at this stage. I'm not sure why, I don't know if I should be worried, but no, still not phased.

I would, however, like to tell you all about the fact that my son and I share EVERYTHING. Today whilst he was sat on my lap for a cuddle watching tv, my own case of excess F.O.F. caught me off guard. I dripped watery snot directly into his hair. Of course I wiped it out immediately. He didn't even notice.

See how loving, caring and sharing we are in our house?

Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 28+6 days
Month: 7
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 27 weeks
Heartbeat: Awesome
Time to Go: 77 days
Size: NORMAL!!! (-ish)

I'm still 30, and I'm LOVING. IT. I've actually had a great couple of days, it's been such a laugh. D has really treated me to lots of stuff (including a new camera) and Noah has perked up so much he's been hilarious. I love them both so much.

I'm soooo not stressed about being 30; maybe because I've achieved goals that I wanted to achieve. Not by a certain age or anything, but I know I've got stuff to show for the last 30 years. Cool by me!

And so today we had the 4d scan for T.O.O. We obviously didn't find out the gender (and Mme. Sonographer #5 wouldn't tell us as soon as we initially said we didn't want to know. I didn't cave. I may have suggested writing it down and putting it in an envelope...). But oooooooooooh my god do we have another cutie on our hands! This one is much more poutier than Noah was in his 4d scan, and has the longest fingers I have ever seen. And it kept waving it's hands in it's face and wrinkling it's nose with cute expressions. And (yes, I'm gushing) it kept doing the most GORGEOUS thing where it snuggles against the cord or uterus wall like I'm some king sized snuggly lovey taggie blanket ommmggzzzz the cutenesssss!!!1!!1!!!!!!!!!!1!!!



"MA!! I AM MEATY BABY!! I present to you,
BEEFCAKE BICEP!!!!! ...let the nomming commence."



Contender for ANTM (with an attitude pout to wipe
the smile off anyone's face.*)



"Mmmmmmm lovin this placenta cushion thingy."



Did I mention the fingers?



This is obviously going in T.O.O. portfolio, ready for years
of baby modelling and making us lots of money.

And of course, the size measurements! Yes hmm. It's looking, uh, ah, interesting? Everything is measuring "perfect" she said, and then told us that it's all roughly 70th to 85th centile. So uh, yeah, you know, normal (for me maybe?). Actually I was more concerned by the fact that the head was huge, and that I'm going to give birth to a lollipop baby. It's only common sense telling me at this stage that I know the rest of the body plays "catch up" (hah!! Won't that be great).

She also said it probably weighs around 3lbs 2oz at the mo. Most of the stuff I read and hear about say average at this stage is 2lbs 7oz -ish. But that's ok. I'm not panicking. In fact, I know there are a number of things that can still come in to play here.

1) Growth could/will/maybe/might/possibly/hopefully(?) slow down in the next few weeks and towards the end.

2) There's a huge margin for error in scans. You know, like maybe a 2 million % either way, you know?

3) I still have my GTT tomorrow, which could flag up diabetes, depending on whether I devour another 4 chocolate eclairs (thanks D), the rest of my birthday coffee cake (thanks MIL), yet more Cherry Coke (thanks Tesco) and the rest of my birthday chocolates (thanks K and R, you guys rock). There's a CHANCE that this test could be negative. Right?

4) The slight concern that I have hydro...hydramo...wait a sec -

- oh yeah, polyhydramnios (excess amniotic fluid), and then Mme Son. #5 mentioned something about an infection and diabetes, and something about testing but never seeing a test come back positive, so that's another reason not to worry, right?

And, perhaps I should pay more attention to these things. So I guess it's additional tests tomorrow morning. Huzzah! **


* I hasten to add we do not know the gender, but since ANTM lately seems to be taking on male as well as female models, we see there shouldn't be any problems forcing our little one down the catwalk. ASAP. ***

** I truly am not worried, as I know what will be, will be (I'm still obviously going to try to push the button though, if I can of course). I am however, very interested to hear your views on the subject? Many thanks...

*** I think it's a girl. What do you guys think?