Last week D and I took ourselves on a champagne filled trip to London. And swear on my cats butt, it was the best trip to London EVAH!!

We left on Thursday morning and travelled 1st Class Virgin Pendolino (they make me feel sick to my stomach but they're so much fun), arrived in London and took the tube over to Knightsbridge, home of Harrods, (HARRODS OMG HARRODS SWEET LORD HARRODS) and our hotel, Jumeirah Carlton Tower. I can't even begin with how gorgeous the hotel was. HELL yeah.

Unfortunately, on the train I realised I had forgotten to pack my lurvely new Fiorelli bag at home, and was thoroughly pissed of with myself (I secretly cried a little; the girlie-girl within me had been looking forward to "wearing" it with the spank-me-ms-secretary shoes and hanging-on-by-boobs-alone dress).

So D decided we should go look round the Harrods sale.

Oh. My. God.

You'd think I would have had a field day in Harrods, and I swear I nearly did. But you know what? I fast realised that DKNY, Versace, Mulberry and all the rest of it just wasn't my style. Yes that's right, I TURNED DOWN bags in the middle of Harrods. Do you know what we ended up doing? Going over to John Lewis on Regent and Oxford, where I bought a Tula bag I'd been eyeing up the previous week (it was either Tula or Fiorelli; I chose Fiorelli because it was luuuurbely {and yes I do mean luuuurbely} and soft yum and was gorgeous with my outfit).

We went out to Gordon Ramsay's restaurant and ordered a glass of vintage champagne each, the Menu Prestige (7 courses), and a glass of wine for each course. Oh hell yes.

Pressed foie gras with Madeira jelly, smoked duck, peach and almond crumble

Ravioli of lobster, langoustine and salmon with tomato chutney, vinaigrette

Fillet of turbot with braised baby gem lettuce, leeks and cep sauce

Cannon of Cornish lamb with confit shoulder, ratatouille and thyme jus

Pre dessert something-or-other

Strawberry, Champagne and elderflower soup with vanilla cream

Strawberry chocolate balls thingies

Needless to say I've hawked most of this direct from his website because I can't find our exact menu right now. You don't even care, all you need to know is that the food was gooooooooood.

We had more champagne after this at the restaurant and then went back to the hotel for even more champagne.

I am able to sum up my evening in the following pictures and tweets.

Dessert (in non-fancy terms): Strawberry ice-cream balls coated in white chocolate and served on dry ice, hence the weird smokey stuff (to stop them from melting. I at 10 of them. And there's only 4 in a dish at a time. What can I say? They just kept bringing them).

The weird tree thing with balls on it next to the dish, they're chocolate coco balls coated in some shiny fancy fondant stuff. Very tasty.

Back at the hotel in the Gilt Champagne Bar, drinking, you guessed it, more champagne cocktails.

Said champagne cocktails. God only knows what was in them. I do remember eating D's flower. Inside a champagne glass.

Nothing like a semi-drunken pose.

"Hello twitter i an tweeting from mobile sat in hotel brinking cocktail champagnk eatin nuts n oliver. VERY GOOD might yup"

I would say that's quite self explanatory.

Some uh, decor. (Strings of massive bauble bead things against a mirror. Very dangerous/enticing to any drunken person.)

"I have on one shoe"

The said Spank-Me-Ms-Secretary shoes, which are verrrrry lovely. I did of course, find the other shoe. I have no idea how I ended up removing only one shoe though.

Shortly after taking lots of very random pictures, D went to the loo and pulled a hooker on the way (she back tracked to go and wink at him. That's my boy). I managed to ruin some other guy's night by talking to his call girl for a good 45 minutes, telling her "no she didn't need bigger boobs" and also to "think more about her 6 year old daughter" that she had told me about. The guy she was with had buggered off to the bar to chat up other women; he looked non too impressed when he came back to her and heard what we were talking about. Having said that, I may have cost her some good money that night too.

...man, D and I were on FIRE!!!

I vaguely remember going upstairs to our room and sitting on a chair with my feet up on the bed. I whipped out my breast pump, got a bottle of water and fell asleep right there. Amazingly (although only out for maybe 20 minutes) I didn't spill any milk and was able to guzzle some water and get into bed. I think this may have been around 3 a.m.

The next day, we fell out of bed sometime around 9 a.m. Amazingly I didn't have a hangover (possibly because I may still have been drunk) but my stomach did churn a little at the bottle and pump of breast milk that was still sitting beside the bed, from the previous night. Mmmmm, yummy, curdling, rancid champagne-milk anyone?

We went and had a colossal freshly cooked fry up breakfast, with tons of fruit, juice and other assorted goodies from the breakfast buffet, packed our bags and rolled out of the hotel. (Fresh air hit, more certain I was still drunk.) With over two hours to kill, we headed back to Harrods. Of course.

Where I did everything I could not to buy another bag.

I did buy some very nice shoes though. Ramses Birkenstocks, stone coloured. Am pleased. And have happy feet. What can I say? After walking around in the Spank-Me-Ms-Secretary shoes the previous day, my feet needed tlc.

And uh, we needed more champagne so we headed over to the Veuve Cliquot Ponsardin bar in Harrods and had lunch, with, oh yeah! Another glass of champagne. (Wonderfully, I had just gotten sober by this point, so I knew I'd pretty much cope. And besides, Harrods sales can be VERY sobering.)

Battling our way through underground tubes to catch our train home was NOT fun however, what with delays on the Picadilly line, and uh, here is our train home.

Which we very much missed.
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3 Responses
  1. Anonymous Says:

    Oooh, lucky you, sounds like my kind of night. Glad you had a fab night away!
    What a treat!

  2. Cassandra Says:

    Oh my goodness!! How UTTERLY fabulous!!! Nothing else to say, except :D :D :D :D :D

  3. mommaruth Says:

    You make me want to come back to see this side of London; the first time I went I was way too young to enjoy anything this fabulous!! Glad you had a great night out without your babies - but I'm sure you were glad to get back home to them :)