Ok, so, now, uh, 30 minutes the small one has been in his travel cot, crying, waiting for him to go for a nap. And he won't nap, and this will be all incoherent and babbly and make no sense because for the love of GOD GO TO SLEEP CHILD AND STOP TRYING TO CRAWL OUT THE DAMN COT.

Yesterday, he napped for a total approximately 40 minutes. The whole day. The. WHOLE. DAY.

Yesterday, Noah did not nap. At all. AT. ALL. NOT. NAP.

N.O.T. N.A.P.

And you know what? Add that to feeling like utter fucking shit because you woke at some obscene hour of the morning because of other people fussing and snoring and the fact that your stomach is EMPTY because eating is somehow ILLEGAL within 2 weeks of having had food poisoning and omffgggfggfgggggggggggg.

Isaac struggles to nap now because he's popping 2 teeth. Yes two, because if you remember, my children don't do shit by halves. And whilst that might sound like a proud mother statement, it's actually a "Oh fuck and woe is me what the hell am I supposed to do with this shit" statement.

And also? The climbing. Oh my god, the climbing people. As I just typed that last, he's just stood up in his travel cot, fell over and is now wailing. Again. And I? Am ignoring. It's padded. He's ok.


So. Here's an interesting question, how the fuck do you discipline a 6 month old to fucking stop being some crazy super hero child and go to fucking sleep already?

And, really, you're going to make me go through the whole "Hey mom, I just crawled out my cot with the sides still up and I'm only a fetus, now you need to go trawl the internets looking for some crazy contraption to keep me contained which you know will totally not work and by the time you do find something I'll be some kind of fully grown adult anyway oh wait you blinked now I am a fully grown adult and by the way you are so totally fucked."


He seems to have gone to sleep.

Gonna stop typing now.

3 Responses
  1. Kat Says:

    LaLa 4 teeth at once...I shit you not.

    These children don't like to do anything the easy way do they? Do they have gum numbing gel here in the UK? My kids hated it, but it works for some people. My kids did like the homeopathic "teething tablets" I got in the states, but yet again, don't know if you have them here.

  2. Kelly Says:

    ROTF! love you Jay!

  3. Tie them down? That's what I did. No I didn't. Velcro straps are good.

    I am of course joking. Or am I?