So go ahead. Let the assvice commence. Go ahead and let rip with your comments.
"ANOTHER ONE?? You must be mad."
"Two under 2? Are you crazy?"
"Spotting loads? Oh it's probably because you're so blatantly not ready to have another one."
"Pregnant again? You'll never cope with it again."
Yep, thanks for your support people, I really appreciate it. But you know what? You wanna comment? Go ahead. You want to commiserate? Go for it. You wanna congratulate? Knock yourself out. You got something to say? Say it.
But I ask one thing.
Please do not text me. Do not email me. You have something to say, then say it here. Bitch behind my back all you like. I know people do it, and that's ok. But don't treat me like a fool. I don't want my phone going crazy with assvice. I don't want my inbox full of apologies/commiserations. I'd prefer it if you left your chosen words here, where I can deal with it in my time. You know? Cos I got a lot on my plate right now, and I'm trying my damndest to be in the right frame of mind to be happy for myself. Instead of wondering whether I should be wallowing in self pity.
This is my baby. Mocha x2. Or Mocha #2. I haven't decided yet. And you know what? I'm going to enjoy my baby. We PLANNED to have 2. We PLANNED to have them close. In fact, we had PLANNED to start trying 3 months before Christmas.
I'm bitter. I'm so very bitter. I'm infuriated by the people who have made these comments, because I feel that people don't often think before they speak. It hurt because people doubted me before they gave me a chance. It hurt because I thought I'd have support from people who said they gave a shit. It hurt more when people found out (and there are very few who know, at least before this post) and I said I think I might actually be having a miscarriage...and it hurt so much when the comments were still the same.
I ask myself these questions - would you say the same thing to a mother of twins? Would you say the same things to someone with fertility issues, had been trying for years and finally gotten lucky twice in a row? Would you say the same thing to yourself if it was what you really wanted?
I've been spotting from 5 weeks. The scan was at 6 weeks. I'm still spotting, sometimes brown, sometimes pink. Never red. Not yet. Mocha II has a healthy heartbeat, and D and I cried with sweet relief when Mme Sonographer said everything was ok. We had asked her to cover the screen until she could see for sure either way.
When I first found out, I thought my announcement to The Internet would be a lovely one, full of fluffy shit, comparative pics of Noah, excitement, , how I found out and how we laughed and other stuff to make you a little nauseous (Nausea! My new bestest friend).
Truthfully? I almost had no intention of blogging again, because I was so fucked off.
But I feel perhaps I should rise to the challenge of people who are less supportive, and in true Brit fashion (ack), flick the old V sign and carry on regardless. So let's begin.
Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 8+2 days
Fetus Age: 6 weeks
Time to Go: 221 days
Personally, if Noah is anything to go by, I can't wait. Especially when my little 8 month old boy walked across the lounge last week, completely unaided, grinning at me with his 2 teeth.