Yesterday was the Nanny's last day until the new year, and when she comes back she's only doing 2 days a week until Noah starts pre-school. I have them on my own today.
For some reason, I'm terrified. It's times like this when I wonder if I shouldn't have had the Nanny to help me out in the first place. Like somehow, I should have taken care of my own shit. For all the shit that was hitting the fan, for some reason it feels like I was making excuses. Like I have to defend myself. But I don't know to who.
Somehow, I need to learn to take charge of my shit. Right now, I'm just too scared to leave the damn house.