Yes it's a cheesy title but I don't care.
Anyway, yes, here I am at nearly 7:30pm on a Sunday afternoon, contemplating the events to happen this week. Tomorrow, assuming there's enough beds (thank you NHS), I'll be induced to deliver this child, which is waaaaaaaay overdue. I still can't believe I made it this far, and since Friday, I've become more and more proud of myself in a very strange kind of way.
I held on for all I could hope for within reason, I couldn't ask for much more, there have been many compromises along the way, some which I never thought I would have to do (Consultant Ms TinyHands has a LOT to answer for).
Unfortunately today has been quite shit; numerous things occurring which I shan't go into (but involve being pushed VERY MUCH over the edge - hello? Stressy pregnant lady does not need your shit right now, thanks) and was really not how I'd hoped to spend my (potentially) last day as a mom of 1.
I'm slightly terrified of coping with two sometimes, but yes yes, I know, you just have to get on with it blahdy blah...but I'm allowed to stress and worry a bit ok? I doubt myself All. The. Time. I have no idea how I'll cope, or what I'll do to make sure I'll cope. I'm obviously excited, for so many reasons, but at the moment, I can't seem to see past tomorrow. Maybe that's a good thing; maybe taking one day at a time is just the best way to do it.
There are so many things whizzing around my head, I actually feel sick and dizzy with it all. Not because of what's to happen this week, but, I dunno; just trying to make sure everything is organised and runs as smoothly as possible, both at the hospital and at home.
Noah has been "delightful" lately; he's going through this annoying fussy eating phase, and it's like you have to tackle him at just the right speed, otherwise you can forget it and you'll be cleaning pureed crap off the ceiling. Alongside this, he suddenly seems to think he has opinions and choices and can actually have his own way most of the time. Needless to say, my response is hell to the freaking NO.
Well actually, he does have choices, but they're restricted to the ones I set him. Of course.
So anyway. I have no further plans for the evening, apart from to hope to god in heaven that I get some rest, to enjoy the bath I've just run (which is now probably cold) and to just chill. Which we all know is very unlikely.
To those of you following my story with mild interest, thanks :) I'll hopefully update as much as I can via twitter; that's assuming my MDA doesn't die (or if I can even get it working in the first place).
Buh bye, world of minimal sanity, hello life of utter chaos.