Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 40+4 days
Month: 10 (That's some funny shit right there)
Trimester: 3 (or maybe 4, I need to check this...)
Fetus Age: 39 weeks
Time to Go: About 3 years ago
Size: The coffee table
Time til potential induction: 6 days

Ultimatum of the day.

Consultant Mr U: We're obviously very concerned about this polyhydramnios. We would normally induce early on.

Me: But wouldn't that cause more problems?

Mr U: Well quite frankly we can keep an eye on things that way. But you don't want any intervention, is that right?

Me: Well yes...

Mr U: That I can understand. I know you're not happy about things.

Me: Yeah, intervention just freaks me out.

Mr U: Ok well that's fine. The plan is this - you can either have an internal now to see what's happening or you can stay in hospital until you go in to labour.

Me: ...uh...I'll just get undressed now...

And to add insult to injury? There's absolutely NO action AT. ALL. Zip, zilch, nada. Everything closed up and no sign of imminent arrival.*

Thrilled.

*I hasten to add, I've been on the raspberry leaf tea for some time, I'm eating pineapples til my mouth disintegrates, I've eaten more than enough spicy food, my crotch hurts for bouncing on the ball and my feet are like boats from walking around so much. And if anyone suggests sex, well, the only sex I'll be having is with a turkey baster, thanks.

Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 40+2 days
Month: 10
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 38 weeks
Time to Go: And already that's not even funny any more.
Size: Roughly the size of the bull in the field opposite my house
Time til potential induction: 1 day. Hm.

And still going strong. Though I did have a Super-Poop yesterday, followed by contractions that were definitely worth writing home about. I would have been more excited though, had they been getting closer together rather than the sporadic random timing with which they presented themselves. Love to keep me guessing eh?? Thanks!

And of course, visit from AMW yesterday, who looked at me a little disbelievingly at the fact that I HADN'T GIVEN BIRTH YET. Yes lady, I'm still preggo, come join the party! She did, however, announce that the head is now 1/5 engaged (which basically means that it's almost rammed into my crotch and ready to go). As a subsequent pregnancy, this can only be good news given that I'm told on a DAILY basis that subsequent babies don't engage until the last minute.

Of course, one may need to define the meaning of "minute" to an unborn, cos clearly, some just don't get it.

I obviously tried not to get excited last night, and found that it was actually quite easy to not get excited to be honest. I'm quite cynical at the moment about it all, and half expect to go into labour AFTER tomorrows meeting with the consultant. Which is fine; I know I went 3 days over with Noah, and according to the due dates at the hospital I am currently 40+1. Which is fine. If we were to go RIGHT back and go by "real" dates, I don't think I'd actually be due until next Wednesday (which is even funnier and something not worth thinking about right now).

I guess it's time to start walking. Cos you know, SPD + walking = AWESOME.

Incidentally, people, I WILL update when I know I'm on labour I can assure you. You're welcome to follow my updates on twitter which will probably give the most up-to-date commentary I can do, or check my facebook page if you're there and I'll try to do the same there. Trust me, I don't think I'm going to suddenly forget to announce I'm in labour and/or delivered a 27lb infant. Unless I'm truly drugged up of course.

Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 40+1 day
Month: 10
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 38 weeks
Time to Go: TODAY. Not tomorrow, TODAY.
Size: Bigger than me. Figure that out.
Time til potential induction: 2 days. Meh.

Sooooo....it turns out you REALLY can't predict these things, huh?

Yes here I am, at 40 weeks and still pregnant. I'm now on my 2nd due date (the one that THEY use, even though they're only a day apart). As far as I know, there is NO sign of this one coming any time soon. Sure, I've had ridiculous amounts of BH, I'm all pooped out I think for the first time (in a long time) I can say I'm all empty, I'm restless as hell and pretty much no longer have an appetite.

Most days are spent pacing up and down like some crazy restless woman, trying really hard not to feel sick all the time. I often feel like I'm about to lose my marbles and I've ONLY JUST hit due dates. SHEEESH.

So what happens now? Well AMW is coming this afternoon, where she might actually ask me why I haven't had the baby yet (albeit jokingly...I hope...) and then ask how I feel about Friday's induction.

How do I feel about Friday's induction?

I danno. I don't want an induction and will probably decline. They'll probably want to do a sweep *shudder* because I know they're shitting themselves even more than me about the size of this baby. But my reason for declining is logical from my point of view; if my body isn't yet ready to push out a colossal baby and they started it anyway, would that not lead to more trouble? Do we not see a C-Section on the horizon?

Sure I'm uncomfortable, and appear to have developed Pregnancy Tourettes (randomly screaming "GET OUT" and "NOW, BITCH", accompanied by the odd "DAMN YOU, CROTCH"), and SPD has reached hilarious new heights (current record - 15 minutes to maneuver myself out of bed), and, you know, I have no sanity left, but I have to remember to be very realistic about what my body is about to go through.

Even at this stage I see no point in downing pineapples/curries or even pineapple curries (lmao people, ya'll funny), or indulging in some seriously uncomfortable sex (er yes hi, have you people SEEN me?), and even bouncing on the ball doesn't seem to do much. T.O.O. is (apparently) 2/5 engaged and very rarely lies on my left (like it's supposed to).

Ahw crap, and I thought Noah was defiant, this one is going to be a right little shit, for sure.

Sadly though, I'm prepared for the worst. I'm expecting to go into labour sometime next week, and end up having a section. Just cos, you know, The Law of Sod. which is a real shame. But we'll see.

Week: 40+1 day
Month: 10
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 38 weeks
Fetal Heartbeat: Yup
Size: I guess 72 inches
Time to go: uh, yesterday
Full Term: Ages ago

I have no child. Externally.

I also have no poop. Externally.

However, I do have indigestion. And constipation.

And yesterday was a riot. MW#2 had previously booked me an appointment to come see me yesterday morning. She didn't turn up, and eventually yesterday evening another MW called to say that it was actually her day off. And did I go into clinic? Because if I did then sorry about that because there was no one there.

W...TF?

So we're thinking maybe private MW with Baby #2 (should I ever get Baby #1 out first).

And since I can do tmi without giving a hoot, I've spent the last three days trying to poop. Having had 3 glasses of prune juice, half a bag of prunes, 3 glasses of apple juice, handfuls of (dry) All-Bran and a bowl of scrambled egg and beans.

I'm actually quite impressed with myself, I could possibly be holding a world record here for the longest time to go without pooping.

I'm also impressed with the number of people who STILL keep harassing me. At the moment I think I've decided to stop responding to texts etc, because people? Just leave me the fuck alone and stop asking stupid questions. And stop asking seemingly nice questions as a round-about way to get to ask your stupid questions.

I think maybe if I was, like, 608 weeks pregnant then I could understand people asking if I've "dropped yet". (Hah hah! You're so funny! Have I "dropped" yet!! Oh hah hah! Stupid whores.) But people? I ONLY JUST GOT TO 40 WEEKS. And in case you didn't know, FIRST BABIES OFTEN GO TO 42 WEEKS, YOU BUNCH OF STUPID WHORES. Go learn something.

I wonder if I should go walk round Sainsburys...it's been a week...