Week: 40+1 day
Month: 10
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 38 weeks
Fetal Heartbeat: Yup
Size: I guess 72 inches
Time to go: uh, yesterday
Full Term: Ages ago

I have no child. Externally.

I also have no poop. Externally.

However, I do have indigestion. And constipation.

And yesterday was a riot. MW#2 had previously booked me an appointment to come see me yesterday morning. She didn't turn up, and eventually yesterday evening another MW called to say that it was actually her day off. And did I go into clinic? Because if I did then sorry about that because there was no one there.

W...TF?

So we're thinking maybe private MW with Baby #2 (should I ever get Baby #1 out first).

And since I can do tmi without giving a hoot, I've spent the last three days trying to poop. Having had 3 glasses of prune juice, half a bag of prunes, 3 glasses of apple juice, handfuls of (dry) All-Bran and a bowl of scrambled egg and beans.

I'm actually quite impressed with myself, I could possibly be holding a world record here for the longest time to go without pooping.

I'm also impressed with the number of people who STILL keep harassing me. At the moment I think I've decided to stop responding to texts etc, because people? Just leave me the fuck alone and stop asking stupid questions. And stop asking seemingly nice questions as a round-about way to get to ask your stupid questions.

I think maybe if I was, like, 608 weeks pregnant then I could understand people asking if I've "dropped yet". (Hah hah! You're so funny! Have I "dropped" yet!! Oh hah hah! Stupid whores.) But people? I ONLY JUST GOT TO 40 WEEKS. And in case you didn't know, FIRST BABIES OFTEN GO TO 42 WEEKS, YOU BUNCH OF STUPID WHORES. Go learn something.

I wonder if I should go walk round Sainsburys...it's been a week...