Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 40+1 day
Month: 10
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 38 weeks
Time to Go: TODAY. Not tomorrow, TODAY.
Size: Bigger than me. Figure that out.
Time til potential induction: 2 days. Meh.

Sooooo....it turns out you REALLY can't predict these things, huh?

Yes here I am, at 40 weeks and still pregnant. I'm now on my 2nd due date (the one that THEY use, even though they're only a day apart). As far as I know, there is NO sign of this one coming any time soon. Sure, I've had ridiculous amounts of BH, I'm all pooped out I think for the first time (in a long time) I can say I'm all empty, I'm restless as hell and pretty much no longer have an appetite.

Most days are spent pacing up and down like some crazy restless woman, trying really hard not to feel sick all the time. I often feel like I'm about to lose my marbles and I've ONLY JUST hit due dates. SHEEESH.

So what happens now? Well AMW is coming this afternoon, where she might actually ask me why I haven't had the baby yet (albeit jokingly...I hope...) and then ask how I feel about Friday's induction.

How do I feel about Friday's induction?

I danno. I don't want an induction and will probably decline. They'll probably want to do a sweep *shudder* because I know they're shitting themselves even more than me about the size of this baby. But my reason for declining is logical from my point of view; if my body isn't yet ready to push out a colossal baby and they started it anyway, would that not lead to more trouble? Do we not see a C-Section on the horizon?

Sure I'm uncomfortable, and appear to have developed Pregnancy Tourettes (randomly screaming "GET OUT" and "NOW, BITCH", accompanied by the odd "DAMN YOU, CROTCH"), and SPD has reached hilarious new heights (current record - 15 minutes to maneuver myself out of bed), and, you know, I have no sanity left, but I have to remember to be very realistic about what my body is about to go through.

Even at this stage I see no point in downing pineapples/curries or even pineapple curries (lmao people, ya'll funny), or indulging in some seriously uncomfortable sex (er yes hi, have you people SEEN me?), and even bouncing on the ball doesn't seem to do much. T.O.O. is (apparently) 2/5 engaged and very rarely lies on my left (like it's supposed to).

Ahw crap, and I thought Noah was defiant, this one is going to be a right little shit, for sure.

Sadly though, I'm prepared for the worst. I'm expecting to go into labour sometime next week, and end up having a section. Just cos, you know, The Law of Sod. which is a real shame. But we'll see.

Week: 39+5 days
Month: 10 (Seriously...what?)
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 38 weeks (I signed it up for Uni. Cambridge.)
Fetal Heartbeat: Yes indeedy.
Size: Long enough
Time to go: 27 hours (WTF??!)
Full Term: I stopped counting

Yeh yeh ok so I got a bit tetchy in one of my posts, but hey can you blame me??! D's mother has taken to calling EVERY DAY (sometimes several times) to check on progress. Well. I'm still pregnant. And for the frickin MILLIONTH time, WE WILL CALL if something happens.

Though at this rate we may just neglect to call until it's at pre-school, like we kinda forgot to mention.

I'm totally appreciative of people checking to see if there's 'any news'; it's lovely that people care and stuff, but come on, did it occur to you if you're constantly sending messages, then so is someone else...?

I must admit, the messages that I really appreciate are the 'thinking of you etc etc', or the 'hope you're ok, shout if I can help blah blah'...I guess I shouldn't be so ungrateful (or some shit like that) but maaaaaaan it can get old I guess, especially when I'm already tired and starting to get really impatient.

Went for accupressure today; it was different, but felt really good. Mocha kicked up a storm every time she squeezed my big toe on my right foot. It was kinda entertaining. She said she worked on constipation points and labour induction points. Needless to say, the induction points aren't guaranteed, but hey, I'll take what I can get. Gotta admit, I feel more barfy, my back is screwing and the BH are pretty strong. Can't be bothered to time them yet though.

My latest plan is to go into labour by Saturday. Cos you know, Mocha and I have this agreement whereby it does what I say.

HAHAHHHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAA!!!

I'm still on the raspberry leaf tea (YES I know, it doesn't actually induce labour) and drinking like a fish. I have evening primrose oil but don't have the balls to take any. Every time I think about it I chicken out and google until I find enough info that says Don't Do It!! Lengthy Labour! Induction! C-section!

You'd think I'd just bin the stuff.

Oh, and er, happy new year and stuff.

Week: 39+2 days
Month: 10 (Jesus Christ on a parmesan and poppy seed cracker)
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 37 weeks (it'll be ready for college when it comes out)
Fetal Heartbeat: Still there thank the lord
Size: Much too long
Time to go: 5 days (HAH! Not even due date yet)
Full Term: 16 days ago
Days til New Year: 3 days (urhm...)

Haha yeh I'm still pregnant.

Still spotting, still power walking round Sainsburys, still cramping etc etc...in fact, just so I remember, pre-labour seems to consist of many of the following:

~ Spotting
~ Cramping
~ Nausea
~ Dizziness
~ Crazy Braxton Hicks
~ Back ache
~ Nesting
~ Desperation
~ The need to kill someone/something
~ more that I just can't remember right now

The end of pregnancy is something that no woman should have to go through. In fact, we should be put to sleep until it's born, and this should happen at around 36 weeks, just before that moment when you realise that it's no longer fun, but in fact your crotch is permanently on fire, you're desperate for alcohol and that heartburn DOES in fact plague you day and night.

And people. People people people. What is with this 'are you a mum yet?' 'Have you had it yet?' 'Are you still pregnant?'

Well yes I've had it, I just forgot about it, you know? Did I forget to mention that I pushed a frigging melon the same weight as a bowling ball out of my Mary Jane? Did I not tell you that this belly I have is in fact just excess fat left over from Xmas Dinner?* You dumb asses, YES I'm still preggo and I will TELL YOU when I've had the goddamn baby so STOP HARASSING ME. Cos you know, enough pressure already.

My latest trick? (Cos there's always at least one...) I drink something, and then burp it straight back up. It doesn't even taste acidic because it didn't even get that far. I get to drink everything twice.

Awesome.

*Ham and parmesan salad to start, whole salmon stuffed with spinach, spring onions and mozarella for mains and xmas pud for desert. Ohhhhhhhh yehhhhhhhh.