Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 33+4 days, so I should consider getting baby stuff ready I guess.
Month: 8
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 32 weeks
Time to Go: 45 days
Size: I reserve comment.
Time til Growth Scan: 13 days

TWO HOUSE VIEWINGS THIS WEEKEND!!! Needless to say we've been running around like headless chickens trying to tidy everything up (that's been, uh, fun..) and SuperNanny blitzed downstairs which was pretty impressive. One viewing out the way today, one more tomorrow, PLEASE GOD let the lovely people get into a bidding war over our house and make an obscenely high offer.

Noah's face is looking a little better:



We're thrilled to bits that his bruise spread down between his eye and nose, and is currently an interesting shade of greeny-yellow. Teamed with F.O.F., he looks a treat, yes?!

Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 28+0 days
Month: 7
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 26 weeks
Heartbeat: 140 summat
Time to Go: 83 days
Size: Leaning Tower of Pisa
Time til 4D Scan: 6 days
Days til I hit 30: TWO. TWO days and I'm thirty. Uh, whoop.

We are inconclusive. Noah has been to the docs, had everything checked (including the mysterious rash that had appeared on his neck in the space of 3 hours), inside his ears are slightly red but not inflamed, chest and throat clear, still has a slight temperature and we have to keep an eye on the rash (which was almost gone by the time he went to bed, 2 hours later).

The most we can get? Viral infection. That classic answer when no one AT ALL knows what the hell is wrong. But you know, that's ok. People have offered up a million different answers to what is wrong, which is fair enough. But at the end of the day, I couldn't give a monkeys to what's wrong, I just want my little guy better.

It's been such a shitty run of illnesses for him, and I know everyone (worldwide) is doing every sick bug under the sun at the mo. But I just want him to catch a break; long enough for him to not deal with F.O.F. or non-stop coughing or mysterious rashes which come and go in the blink of an eye.

So now, we just keep the Calpol to hand, and always be ready with a large stash of cuddles and burpess and dummies).

In other news, my SPD is now so chronic, Physiotherapist #3 is BOOKING ME IN for weekly appointments now. I think it may have something to do with the fact that on Monday my hips were misaligned by about two inches. Also, one side of my pelvis at the front had shifted out of place by about an inch, maybe an inch and a half. And people think I'm shitting them when I say it hurts to do anything.

I'd gotten to the point where my crutches (yes, from my pregnancy with Noah, which I may have neglected to return) were pretty useless, and every movement left me with tears in my eyes. Not my scene.

So she did her magic manipulation (after marvelling about it with a student, which made me laugh, maybe cos I was proud to be such a fine example?) and mother of god yes it hurt while she did it, but I can walk faster than a snail now, which is helpful. I'm sad that Noah wants to be picked up, like any little boy would, and I can barely do it; this breaks my heart, but I'd rather I cry with pain than have him cry because his mom won't cuddle him, ya know? How's the kid to understand?

So fingers crossed, SPD won't necessarily get better, but hopefully we can keep it under better control. I'm thinking of having Phys. #3 move into our house.

I have to say, I'm REALLLLLLLLY looking forward to the 4d scan on Monday; I feel like T.O.O. has barely had any attention already, and that's why it spends more time than Noah did making sure it kicks the living crap out of my system. Have you ever been lying on your side, and been kicked so hard from the inside you actually roll over? It's very surreal. We won't be finding out the gender, but needless to say I will probably spend hours scanning the dvd afterwards for any clues that only an amateur would pick up on.

I'm NOT looking forward to the GTT on Tuesday, as the last thing I could do with is another "told you so" from the medical world (especially after how much I adore them already). But hey, they wanna do their tests which is fair enough. I will not say "told you so" if everything comes back normal. Also I will not be pissed off if everything goes pear shaped.*

Another thing I AM looking forward to is a trip down to the south coast at the start of Feb; I'm going to see a friend who I've never met in person. We've spoken many times, and I first got in touch with him by texting him pics of Noah to compare to his own newborn and offering some breastfeeding advice this time last year.

He has no newborn, and I'm hoping to sweet lord in heaven that he does not breastfeed his 2 twenty-something sons.**

I'm going down on my own, without Noah or D, and staying in a hotel on the coast; and I'm excited because it's going to be 2 days of just me. It sounds so selfish, and I know I'll feel a little bit guilty while I'm down there, but this will be the first real break from everything in what feels like an eternity. And it's a break I need, hopefully just to put my head back on the right way round for a little while. Maybe escape some of this endless flying poop.


*Both of these statements are of course blatant lies.
**I hasten to add I thought I was texting someone else, until he politely told me I'd got the wrong number. (EPIC FAIL).

Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 15+5 days
Month: 4
Trimester: 2
Fetus Age: 14 weeks

Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 13+5 days
Month: 4
Trimester: 2
Fetus Age: 12 weeks
Heartbeat: 151bpm
Time to Go: 182 days
Size: Peach, apparently, but that could depend on what country you're in.

So this morning, I have had an extra nap with Noah, he then had breakfast (complete self-fed finger food breakfast - Cheerios, Corn Flakes, Raisin Wheats, fruit pouch, cup of water), shipped him off to grandparents, had a shower, had breakfast and am now sitting in front of the tv. I've even washed my hair (no idea when I last did that).

I've pooped. I realised it'd been approaching a week and was about due. Noah hasn't pooped. That'll be nice for the grandparents.

Every so often I feel The Other One having a fidget, and heartbeat is always heard clearly on the doppler. In the mornings before my colossal pee, I have a ski slope of a bump.

Weight loss has slowed down, but I'm still only 5lbs heavier than I was at this stage with Noah. Appetite is still minimal, Cheetos addiction has phased off a bit, but hey! That's ok. I know I'll find some other crap to eat.

I'm physically exhausted and still have the odd migraine twinge, but the good lord has decided that my drugs WILL work, and I'm no longer ploughing my way through a thousand tissues a day.

My car should hopefully be ready tomorrow, and I will no longer have to drive the Bum Nut C3.

Noah is cutting 4 teeth at the top, all at exactly the same time; all 4 have cut the gum open and are waiting to make their grand appearance, which we expect by this time next week.

Come on bitches, I dare ya to try me now.

I poooped!!! It took me over an hour, and much pacing up and down the bathroom. And doing some very obscure things (which I'm not prepared to share with the world yet). I've never felt such a sense of achievement. I pretty much passed out asleep on the sofa soon after.

I've also bought some Fibresure in the desperate hope that I never have to go through that again. I'm willing to bet my ass that it doesn't work.

Today I power walked my way around town, for approx. 3½ hours. I walked until my feet were the size of boats, my back could no longer support my own body and was puffing and panting like a dirty old man at a strip show.

The result? A few minor contractions and a pair of sore feet. And a 2 hour nap on the sofa. And a very fidgety baby.

Who by the way, hasn't been born yet. (I'm sorry, did the title of this post get you going?)

Week: 39+5 days
Month: 10 (Seriously...what?)
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 38 weeks (I signed it up for Uni. Cambridge.)
Fetal Heartbeat: Yes indeedy.
Size: Long enough
Time to go: 27 hours (WTF??!)
Full Term: I stopped counting

Yeh yeh ok so I got a bit tetchy in one of my posts, but hey can you blame me??! D's mother has taken to calling EVERY DAY (sometimes several times) to check on progress. Well. I'm still pregnant. And for the frickin MILLIONTH time, WE WILL CALL if something happens.

Though at this rate we may just neglect to call until it's at pre-school, like we kinda forgot to mention.

I'm totally appreciative of people checking to see if there's 'any news'; it's lovely that people care and stuff, but come on, did it occur to you if you're constantly sending messages, then so is someone else...?

I must admit, the messages that I really appreciate are the 'thinking of you etc etc', or the 'hope you're ok, shout if I can help blah blah'...I guess I shouldn't be so ungrateful (or some shit like that) but maaaaaaan it can get old I guess, especially when I'm already tired and starting to get really impatient.

Went for accupressure today; it was different, but felt really good. Mocha kicked up a storm every time she squeezed my big toe on my right foot. It was kinda entertaining. She said she worked on constipation points and labour induction points. Needless to say, the induction points aren't guaranteed, but hey, I'll take what I can get. Gotta admit, I feel more barfy, my back is screwing and the BH are pretty strong. Can't be bothered to time them yet though.

My latest plan is to go into labour by Saturday. Cos you know, Mocha and I have this agreement whereby it does what I say.

HAHAHHHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAA!!!

I'm still on the raspberry leaf tea (YES I know, it doesn't actually induce labour) and drinking like a fish. I have evening primrose oil but don't have the balls to take any. Every time I think about it I chicken out and google until I find enough info that says Don't Do It!! Lengthy Labour! Induction! C-section!

You'd think I'd just bin the stuff.

Oh, and er, happy new year and stuff.

Week: 36+0 days
Month: 9
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 34 weeks
Fetal Heartbeat: Ummm...
Size: Long
Time to go: 27 days
Full Term: 6 days

HAH I had record Braxton Hicks the other night. I managed every 10 minutes for about an hour and a half. Amazingly I sat calm only because they didn't hurt. Mocha fidgeted as usual. D freaked out when he realised what I was timing on my phone. Needless to say, they amounted to nothing which was of course fine with me; I have absolutely no intention of this baby coming out before next week Thursday. Anytime after then is fine, but after Saturday 15th might be even better because at least then MW#2 will have dropped off her box of goodies.

Internet: Ahw look at you, talking like you know exactly when your baby is gonna come. Stupid naieve whore...

Me: *holds up three fingers* Pick one.

I know I can't predict, it's the dumbest thing to try and predict. I know that. But there's no way on this planet I'm having it before next Thursday. Because then it'll premature, and we're not going down that road...

D has landed a job working from home 3 days a week - I'm so over the moon for him. Especially as he's significantly struggling to even leave the house before Mocha's born...! But anyway, I think he starts it next week and hopefully, he'll be able to actually do the work...we'll see...

Mocha has a new trick, it's hilarious. (Detect very dry sarcasm.) A little bottom and foot sticks out the front of my belly whilst simultaneously a foot sticks out my side, narrowly missing rib cage. 30 seconds later, they'll disappear. Then reappear. Then disappear. You get the gist.

People keep asking if the movements have slowed down/reduced yet. Um, hell no. It probably doesn't help drinking gallons of fruit juice (Shuttup, I need the vitamin C...). And I'm wondering if Mocha is gonna be one of those babies that just never sleeps. If that's the case then I honestly don't mind, but if it's accompanied with endless crying, I shall be thoroughly pissed.

I cannot be held responsible for the sudden murder of my noisey neighbours.

Here's something interesting (or perhaps utterly boring) - I have a new phone. It's a Samsung G600 and while I've been a Sony Ericsson lover since the T610 (5 years ago???) it was a hell of a step to switch. The fun part came this morning when I tried to do my weekly belly pic, and suddenly realised I didn't know how to hold the phone, taking a picture of my hand instead. Dear god. But still, it does the job, and I can go back to the K800i should I become utterly desperate.

I've been wondering why my left boob has been so itchy since I put my clothes on this morning. I finally just shoved my hand in the bra wondering if I'd dropped food crumbs in there - and found a £10 note I'd shoved in there. I'd taken it out my jeans this morning to go in the wash but didn't have my purse to hand. Jesus Christ on a cracker in a blanket.

It's the Hollywood All Stars Xmas Bash this weekend, an evening full of...um, crap. A pathetic comedian, a very dull band that plays nothing but horrific covers, and a small plate of questionable cold finger buffet food.

D and I will also be having an Xmas Bash this weekend, only we're using the money for our tickets to go shopping for our own FABULOUS buffet food, and plan on doing nothing but stupid stuff all day. Including watching stupid films, making crazy cocktails (non alcoholic of course for me) and playing mad games.

Oh, and of course playing music as loudly as possible (including all questionable tracks from my Christmas list, such as Who Put the Stump, Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire, Walking Round in Women's Underwear and anything by John Denver and the Muppets.


MUMS Just in case you wanted to know.