Have you all been waiting anxiously on the edge of your seats? Are you all totally wrapped up in my life and Noah's, wondering what the outcome was? Can you barely contain yourselves?

Ok maybe not, but I'll let you know what's going on anyway.

We have had 2, count them - TWO - nights of cough-less sleep. At this point, I would like to exclaim that Julie, is a freaking LEGEND. We've left it at just having the radiator turned down, as she advised, and have given up with everything else. Last night he was so quiet, I still couldn't sleep thinking he'd stopped breathing or something, I'd never heard it so quiet.

HUZZAH!!

I'm still not feeling too cocky or smug, as I know it's still early days. And of course, we now have another increase in F.O.F, which I had hoped was done and dusted. It would seem not, to the point where you reeeeeeally have to wipe it straight away, lest you should have your furniture coated in it.

Think Ghostbusters where that Slimer ghost plasters everything with "ectoplasm", aka, snot.

However, he is now in his cot, having coughed for all of 3 minutes (which I'll allow) and has been quiet since.

I'm also very pleased to note that Poopgate no longer seems to be an issue, and if I wasn't feeling so smug about that I would happily mail the rest of my Fibresure to Soapbox Diva. But I'm not that smug.

And since I'm reporting news, I'm overly pleased to announce that my crotch has officially fallen apart. The SPD is back with a vengeance, and I have sciatic pains in both hips and my right butt cheek. I can no longer sleep on my left for more than 20 minutes at a time (great for getting plenty of sleep HAH) and I walk like I've been kicked in the crotch. Which, I suspect, is exactly what SPD must be like.

You know what's really gross? Is to be walking around, carrying your 72lb child, and your bump, with a feeling of your pelvis and hips all having dislocated themselves from each other. It's a curious feeling, I don't think I like it very much. I kind of expect my leg to fall off or something; you remember those dolls as a kid where you could pull the leg off really easily, but it was a bitch to get it back on again?

..no?

...

Uh, ok.

*Moving swiftly on*

I've decided to dye my hair. I'm using Lush Henna in a strange attempt to "play it safe", in that I didn't want to use chemicals in my hair. So yeah, I went for Caca Rouge, the brightest one. My logic is that my hair is black and therefore colour will barely show up. I'm sat here with it gunked on my head, wrapped in cling film, a t-shirt and a towel.

The best part?

Me (to D): You know, wiping this stuff out of my ears looks like wiping my ass.

I'm so classy.